Kring: “We care about diversity. Here, have more white, male people!”

If you see nothing wrong with this, something is wrong with you

I reject reality and substitute my own!

Because I can’t let go of Heroes yet. Oh, it’s probably my New Year’s resolution to kick that unhealthy habit, but it’d be best if Heroes just went away and I could do the pick-and-choose that I am sadly used to, as a Highlander fan. Where the “canon” is so inconsistent you cannot respect it all at once, so the movies and the series and whatever they made are merely suggestions, pieces of a puzzle that you take to build your own version in your head.

The problem with having the thing you love in your head means it gets harder for you to talk with other fans. Somehow, you have to negotate a common… fanon? And this might be how AU fanfiction is born. Only not, because they get written for shows that are still good and make sense.

Ah, Heroes. I have a lot of respect for the characters and the storylines, the themes and directions in Season 1 and 2. This is why I can’t respect Season 3. I want to use this opportunity to ramble about how things might have or could have or should have developed after Season 2, taking into account – not what the writers want want WANT for a storyline, but how the characters might actually react.

Rules, rules, rules!

I probably won’t ever run a TV show. But if I do, I’ll try to follow these guidelines:

1. The rules of the world will be established before the writing, not during. Or after.
This means I will not have to figure out halfway through the story how exactly my characters’ magical abilities work, resulting in retroactive plot holes. I will not change a character’s backstory just because I realize it’d be neat. This goes for small details, too, because:

2. I will keep in mind that my fans love to think about the story.
They remember everything that happens, they analyze it, and they try to guess what will happen next: using their knowledge of what is and isn’t possible in the setting, and their understanding of the characters. Surprising them is alright, as long as it is still within the realms of what I’ve previously established as believable.

Every plot hole, every retcon, is a slap in the face of my audience.

3. The characters determine the story.
I will not have my characters make stupid and obvious mistakes just because the story won’t work otherwise. When a solution to a problem is obvious, my characters will actually figure it out (along with the audience). If my villains cannot come up with better plans, then I need better villains.

4. Some characters are best in small doses.
No matter how popular this one side-character proves, and how much I myself have come to love him: I will keep him a side-character. When I develop him and make his role larger, I will first wonder what makes him popular, and I will try to preserve this aspect at all costs – even if it means I will have to give up on my plan to give him a bigger role.

5. Character development is necessary, but a challenge.
I will let my characters change according to their experiences, at a realistic pace and in natural ways. But I will also have to keep an eye on what this means for the character chemistry on the show, and whether it is still in harmony with the overall storyline, or my messages. I will try to find ways to avoid a character changing too much, if it means he would not work out anymore.

6. I will introduce new characters only when necessary.
When I introduce a new character, they will have a role to play in the storyline, and this will be obvious soon after their introduction. Their introduction must not come across as forced, but has to feel like a natural consequence of the other characters’ actions.

7. I won’t advertize my show with “Everyone could die!”
Suspence should not come from the question whether a character survives, but how he survives. Besides, each of my characters will be too awesome to be sacrificed for a cheap shock effect. I will also remember that every killed-off character means that I alienate a part of my fanbase. So if I do have to kill off a character, I will do it meaningfully. And I will remember:

8. There are other ways than death for a character to leave a show.
If an actor becomes unavailable, my cast becomes too big or a character just doesn’t work out anymore, I still won’t kill them: I will have them move to a different town or country, get fired from their job, declare that they need to go soul-searching for a while, or disappear on a secret mission. That way, I can theoretically bring them back if it turns out that writing them off was not a good idea, the actor becomes available again, etc. They can also return in single episodes as special guest stars! But even if they won’t actually get to return on the show, it’s nicer for their fans to think that they’re out there, somewhere, happy and busy with their own lives, rather than six feet under.

9. If I do kill a character, he will stay dead.
Everything else just cheapens the experience, probably won’t be convincing (though this depends on the setting of the show), and opens the door for complaints about double standards: Why bring back her, but not her?

10. Being dead does not mean being forgotten.
If a character dies, my surviving characters will still remember them. They might still talk about them. They might need time to overcome their grief. They might wish to avenge them, they might become traumatized, depressed, guilt-ridden. Or joyful. It all depends. The emotional consequences of death will be explored.

11. My characters need stability.
Instead of catapulting my legions of characters all over the place and have my storyline driven by nothing but lack of communication, misunderstandings and grave and stupid mistakes, instead of throwing my characters into unchartered waters and seperating them from all their loved ones as soon as the season starts, in an attempt to create a fast-paced, action-oriented, mind-blowing mess of a storyline; I will give my characters time to sit back, form an alliance (which will actually be positive, and will last), assess their situation, share information and then choose their next step with a certain degree of thought involved. It will make for much more satisfying watching for the audience. After all, the audience have enough time, each week, to think about what would be the best option for my characters. Why not reward those who love the show enough to speculate about its future course?

OK, this might have been aimed quite directly and exclusively at Heroes.

12. I will be confident.
I will be confident about my ideas, characters and themes. If a part of my fanbase (or the media, or casual viewers) express doubt or mistrust, I won’t be intimidated, because *I* know my story best. I know why I am doing what I am doing, I know where I am going with it all. As long as I stay true to my original ideas (especially the underlying themes) I cannot disappoint and alienate my fans, because they will still be getting what they originally fell in love with.

A lot of this can be summed up with: I will be consistent! Nothing annoys me more about a show than a sudden change to the rules, the premise, the mythology, the very foundation of it all.  It means that the creative forces behind it have run out of ideas, or would rather be making a similar, yet significantly different show. Well, why don’t they then?

Nothing inspires less confidence than a showrunner who promises one thing, and some months later delivers the exact opposite.

No more Petrelli show for me.

I feel like I should point out that I won’t be posting about Heroes anymore. It sort of occured to me last week that I better give up on it, because it’s just making me depressed, angry and then more depressed. Since this feeling has stayed with me for nearly a week now, and I have no interest to watch tomorrow’s episode, I guess it’s a permanent thing.

Don’t think I cannot pull this off, I’ve been stubborn my whole life. When I was 1,5 years old, I accepted my parents’ offer that I’ll get a new doll if I give up my pacifier (so it wouldn’t make my teeth grow wrong). I plopped the pacifier out of my mouth at once, put it on the table and never wanted it back, even though my parents still kept it around just in case.

Now, I don’t feel like offering detailed explanations. I could write so much, but what’s the point? Fact is, I’ve been defending Heroes up until this point, I’ve enjoyed Season 2 and loved it despite its flaws. I’ve at least tried to give every character a chance, and I’ve fallen in love with plenty of them as a result. I can’t bear seeing them written off (and in Monica’s case, have even her final scene go unaired), sidelined with minimal screentime and truly outrageously stupid storylines that surely won’t gain them any sympathies from the fans… Which would not bother me if I could trust the producers and writers not to listen to what the -sorry- whiny, dumb fans demand.

But if Season 3 has proven one thing, it’s that satisfying random little crazy fan demands, all the things that “people” find cool and badass and omg awesome, is now more important than continuity, characterization and sense. So we were presented with Future Peter and Future Claire being all grunty and pointlessly shocking (and this while other characters were written off because the cast was supposedly getting too big… hey, let’s bring back Ali Larter, she was hot with Nathan. What Heidi? He’s married and loves his kids? Shut up, people loved Nathan/Niki! They won’t think.)

All the little demands of the Petrelli fans, that is. No matter how little sense it makes. Sylar being a Petrelli makes no sense and contributes nothing to his character. THE HUNGER did it, it’s not his fault!!! Makes no sense. They’ve had time to think of a way to redeem Sylar since late 2006 or early 2007, and this is what they’ve come up with even with a nine months hiatus?

So, now that they’ve started to listen to the dumbest demands of the Petrelli-focused part of their fanbase, I really think it’s just a matter of time until all my favourite characters are killed off. They’ve been the fandom’s scapegoats forever. It’s why I quit looking at the fandom, or the media. I’m not wanted anymore as a fan. It hurts, especially because I’ve had more faith than most fans, I’ve been patient, I’ve been optimistic and yet, I think, realistic in my expectations (I never complained about Peter etc stealing Mohinder’s screentime, for example. This is an ensemble show. That’s what I signed up for in the beginning. Not one main character and his very, very special family, but an ensemble, each getting attention and development and equal treatment), and because I still care about my favourite characters. Part of me does not want to abandon them, but I cannot stand to see them ruined any further. This hurts, too.

I know what you think: Anna, your favourite character was turned into a psychopathic cockroach mutant! It can’t possibly get worse!

To which I reply: My favourite character was turned into a psychopathic cockroach mutant. How can I trust the writers who come up with something like that?

The ~*~*speshul butterfly*~*~ Effect

So, the idea behind the third season of Heroes is, as usual, that Peter is going to be almost responsible for the destruction of the wooooorld.

Gratuitous shirtlessness

Before Season 3 starts, there are a few things one should post about. for example, in anticipation of Mohinder’s introduction into the League of Shirtlessness… let’s all have a long, cloooose look at who’s gotten shirtless before on Heroes!

I want colour ;_;

I complained about how Maya’s is the only one of the photoshopped-to-hell promo pictures that has some colour in it. (Green and blue! TWO colours, even.) Everything else is bleak and black and grey.

Alors, regardez:

Elle

It’s funny that whenever people talk about the new characters in Season 2, they forget Bob. They mention Monica, Maya, Elle, Adam, West, Caitlin, Yaeko and Alejandro, but they forget Bob, even though he had a prominent role.

Maybe it is because as much as you try, you cannot complain bout Bob. He’s a great character, a lot of fun, hard to see through, and he is well-integrated in a lot of characters’ storylines. But you also cannot fangirl him because he isn’t hot.

A while ago I wrote that I had read someone’s opinion that “Elle’s storyline was better than Maya’s”. I disagreed with that statement, and still do, because Elle never had her own storyline, but only appeared in the storylines of other characters: Peter, Mohinder, Claire, HRG – popular Season 1 characters.

May

May? May? Yes, May. We were all very busy being unimpressed and bored by West and Debbie, talking a great deal about them in the process, so we sort of forgot that there were other characters running around at Claire’s high school, too.

A lot went awry in how the whole storyline was handled and everybody who wasn’t Claire and her dad was severely underdeveloped. The rumoured (?) early plan to have a lesbian cheerleader (named April) was scrapped when the actress became a regular on Desperate Housewives. April appears in the first episode, but does not get the chance to do much, let alone make her sexual orientation known. Claire’s friend Martha quickly and completely fades into the background after the first episode, too.

The only one who somewhat prevailed was May.

If you ask me, she is by far the most likeable person in that entire high school. She’s the one lobbying for Claire to get in the cheerleading team, the one standing up to Debbie. Her actress, Janel Parrish, is half Chinese and from Hawaii. Doesn’t that make May count as a character of colour?

I said lesbian cheerleader April got no chance to show us she was a lesbian. This is only mostly true. With some imagination, it still works. When everybody is leaving the gym after Claire failed to jump off the tower, (I think) she is the cheerleader who lingers a little longer than everybody else, watching Claire.

But then she had to go and be desperate with the housewives, and May took her place. I mean, the above scene hints that originally, April was intended to be the one who was nice to Claire, possibly motivated by finding her hot. Or maybe she just sensed that Claire was also keeping a secret and was trying to pretend to be someone she wasn’t in order to fit in, and just wanted to help because she knows what it’s like. Kindred spirits.

So, the real question is: Does May have a crush on Claire?

P.S.: I tagged the post “lesbian cheerleaders”, I cannot wait to see how many people find this blog looking for porn, hahaha. Sorry, guys and girls.

PPS: Of course she’s awesome, her name starts with M.